Lion Heart ENCOURAGE - Well Paired

Intro:

Hey Man of God! 1 Kings 2:2 shines an interesting light on Father-Son Dynamics. "Be strong, and show yourself a man". David says to Solomon on his death bed. The charge from King David to Solomon is a powerful model for father-son relationships, emphasising the need for direct communication and the transference of values and wisdom. Key fatherhood responsibilities. This connection fosters emotional health in our young men, illustrating that expressed love can have profound long-term effects on their lives. Let’s speak those frank words of wisdom, in love.

Encouragement:

Now on to today’s encouragement. Paired, or pair, is a term used in context of a horse and carriage, and specifically to two horses put to a carriage side by side. Other disciplines use “team”. And this is a very apt naming for a story I told me children recently.

My sons are both now out of school and have a freedom to start looking out for a suitable life mate. This is a good thing, and good journey of discovery. We have been talking to them about marriage for many years now, and my wife and I have been guiding and shaping them to both be a good husband and choose and good wife. But, there is just so much that one can convey when your children are young and innocent.

And so this one morning I woke up early before the house got busy, and I was thinking of marriage and how to explain the importance of picking a good team mate is. It is difficult to communicate how big marriage is.

Also, I don’t believe in the idea that there is ‘only one’. i.e. ‘There is only one soul mate for you, and you must find that one person to be happy’. Yes, there are some cases where God has earmarked a specific person for you, but in general, I believe that the field is broad and open, and one can make a successful choice from a broad variety of life partners. For the vast majority of people, there is not just one specific life partner.

Furthermore, you know, being married for 28 years in Dec ‘25, I’ve seen a lot of things. Ups and Downs, ins and outs. And I believe I have much wisdom to convey to my children. But to try to communicate to my two young strong ambitious sons the importance of marriage in God’s plan, and also the importance of taking ones time when looking for a mate, can be challenging.

In life and marriage I have seen and experienced things directly and indirectly, that has formed me and taught me valuable lessons. But how do I convey this ‘weight’ to them, without them having experienced it for themselves. As they say, ‘experience comes right after you need it’. In a way it’s like trying to tell a quadriplegic how exhilarating, but dangerous, it is to climb a 10 000ft mountain without climbing gear. Nigh impossible.

You see, often when we’re that young, of course no one knows better than we do about what is good and bad, right and wrong. (Tongue in cheek) You know right…? Parents just don’t understand what it’s like to be young in this day and age. The oldies just don’t know that ‘I really love her’…

So, lying awake well before anyone else, I pictured a scene that I thought could be an illustration of marriage, and the possible highs and lows of one’s choice.

It is this scene that I will try to relay to you today, as I think it might help you convey the importance of, and enormity of, marriage to a young person in your realm of influence.

A story about Phil:

Phil was an energetic and irrepressible young pony. Full of health and vigour. Ready to take on life.

Phil had a love of being a horse. It was his calling. Being able to serve the people that cared for him was to Phil his highest calling. And he was ready for it.

Pulling a two horse carriage was his dream. It was more than a dream; it was his purpose.

Being paired with a suitable mate to fulfil one’s purpose made Phil swell with excitement and courage.

Excitement grew as the age approached for Phil to be brought to the pairing paddocks. One morning they opened the paddock gates and led a whole team of young maturing horses into the pairing paddock. Yeeehaw, here we go he though as he excitedly ran through the gates.

It was a bit strange on this side of the farm, as things were a bit different to what he was accustomed. Also, for the first time he could actually get close to the horses that had already been paired. For the first time he could see them up close, and watch how they came and went in pairs, pulling carriages to serve the people. This was all coming together. Phil was somewhat nervous, but still very excited. He was really looking forward to learning from the older horses.

The stalls and routine were different on this side. It wasn’t as clean and neat as where he had come from.  There were many different types of horses here. Some very different. Some larger, some smaller. Some fierce and some placid. Some were intimidating and angry. Phil experienced some uncertainty growing in his heart, but non the less, excitement reined.

During the morning routine on this side of the farm, the younger horses were taken out to a paddock that was right next to the main working area of the paired horses. This was very exciting. Here he could see them come and go; he could see them load up, and move out.

Oh it was so fantastic to finally observe the purpose of a horse being lived out, right in front of him. There were so many horses and carriages. Different loads, different colours, different shapes, and it was all so glorious to watch.

Phil was so caught up in seeing the majestic pairs riding up and down. Such proud and beautiful animals.

However, he started noticing that some of the paired horses looked very tired. Some were worn out, and some were even starved. This was quiet shocking to Phil. How could this be, he thought. Wasn’t it a horse’s purpose to be paired, and then work to serve the people he wondered? Why would they be so worn out?

Why would some look so poor, and others so good, he asked himself. Surely fulfilling one’s purpose of being paired and serving was the most fulfilling thing for a horse to do?

Well, time would tell. As Phil spent more time on the far side of the farm being prepared to be paired, he could observe the paired horses more and more, and he would surely learn about these strange things.

After a couple of days in the new paddock, Phil started to notice something he had not seen before. Some of the pairs were not well matched. And as he noticed one bad pairing, he started noticing more and more ill-matched pairs.

Upon studying this issue a bit more, Phil saw that this incorrect matching put severe strain on both the horses in the mismatched pair. Phil frowned, not sure what to make of these issues he had been noticing. Furthermore, he caught glimpses of some of the horses hurting their mates, kicking their mates on the chins until it bleed. Phil was shocked to the core. Why would one horse kick the other. Why would one horse hurt another horse?

Phil became distressed. He had seen more than he had wanted to. His ideals of being paired with a mate for life had been shaken with the negative things he saw during his first few weeks on this side of the farm.

Weeks passed as Phil, along with the others, were put through more preparation for pairing. But Phil was uneasy. Pairing wasn’t as simply as he had thought. He observed many many pairs passing on the road just alongside his paddock over those weeks, and Phil observed that there were both well match pairs and ill-matched pairs of horses. The well matched pairs were healthy, beautiful and strong, almost as if they had an energy and harmony that exceeded their combined individual attributes. The ill-matched pairs were generally in poor condition, both emotionally and physically, and had a poor work rate too.

What led to the mismatch in pairs was still unclear to him, but he could see that a mismatch would be an extreme burden for both horses. The stronger with the weaker, the smaller with the larger, the slow with the fast. Mismatches created strain for both in the pair. The stronger could not move forward at their desired pace, and the weaker were continually pushed beyond their limits. Fatigue and frustration quickly set in leading to depression and possibly separation.

It seemed that all the horses started with good intentions, and the desire to be well paired, and through this, to serve the people well was very strong, but once badly paired it would bring tremendous pain and frustration to both horses. Some would respond with bitterness. Some would respond with violence. Some would become depressed and their ability to be a good mate would be severely limited further breaking the bond between these once young and energetic horses.

There were days when Phil saw many beautiful pairs too. Running and working freely. Feeling fulfilled as they worked as one. United and well matched these good pairs would far out work and outpace the badly matched pairs. And they were wonderful to watch. Working in perfect union. He would stare at them as they passed by. Strong, beautiful and fully content. A well matched pair of horses must be the most beautiful thing in the entire world. Gladly serving the purpose for which they were born. ‘I have to find a good mate’ Phil thought to himself. But how?!

One day, as they were led to the far side of the paddock, he noticed another paddock that he had not yet seen. There he saw many older horses, but they weren’t in pairs anymore. They had been separated. This concept took a while to dawn on Phil. Separated, but how, why!

Surely it was impossible to be separated once one is paired he thought? As one of the older horses came closer to the fence, he could see how drained and broken it was. Its eyes were dull. Its coat was rough and patchy. The signs of a bad pairing were written all over it.

Phil could also see a mark on its neck. It was a mark of the yoke of the carriage, but it was made because of the much pulling and pushing between the pair of horses. A mark caused by contention and strife. It was a sign of a ‘tormentful’ pairing experience.

Phil’s dream of pairing was being realigned and redefined. He started to realise that this was very serious, and a successful pairing was not always certain.

So where did it go wrong, he thought? I must find out!

Seeing Phil standing near the fence, an older separated horse came over to speak to him. Although slightly taken aback, Phil knew that this was an important conversion that was about to take place. The older horse, although drained and worn, had a tender look in her eyes. She looked at Phil with tenderness and care.

My name is Tracey said the old horse. I’ve seen you watching and observing us. You’re keen and excited. You understand that pairing and serving is part of a horse’s purpose, and you’re ready for it. Don’t lose that positivity, she said with a strong persuasion in her voice. But you’ve also seen many things that have challenged your view of the world. You’ve seen suffering and fatigue that you could not have imagined possible. And yes, it is unfortunately true. But it is not inevitable. You’ve also seen strong and beautiful horse pairs. Running and serving to the utmost. And it is wonderful to see. Actually, it must be the most wonderful thing for a horse to witness and partake in, is a harmonious and fulfilling pairing.

A good pairing depends on a few important things. But these are things that you cannot understand right now, even if we told you. What you need, is time. Time to mature in who you are, in who the creator made you to be.

This maturity will help you understand more about your purpose, what you can bring to this pairing and what you need in a mate. As a young horse, these are things you don’t yet know. So you need time to discover it. Don’t rush into a pairing. Wait, be patient, and trust your Creator to guide you.

Secondly, you need guidance. There are some horses here that can give you valuable, lifesaving advise. Take time to listen to them, to both the healthy and the weak, they both have value to add to your life. Don’t think you know it all, this is a very dangerous attitude and can land you in a very poor pairing. Take your time and listen to those that care for you.

This advice really echoed in Phil’s heart. Intuitively he knew what Tracey was saying was good. And it made him feel far more confident in his purpose again. He had more peace about the next few important weeks of pairing that lay ahead.

Phil would wait, trust and listen.

That morning I shared this story with my sons, and I hope and trust that they will take from it, the valuable lesson that I believe it is. And I also trust that this story can help you make better decisions and help those around you.

Marriage can be challenging, but I believe that when it works as God intended, it is truly one of the most glorious things we can experience in this age. Indeed, it is a type and copy of the Glorious Marriage between the bridegroom Jesus, and his Bride the Church. Let’s shine form that Glory of our King. Be Blessed.

Journey Groups:

The next Journey Group is on the morning of the 10th of May 2025. Upper Level of Cappuccinos, in Woodlands Mall, Pretoria East. Starting at 8:00 through to 9:00 sharp. Please reach out to me if you need more info: info@hopenation.faith

Please fwd this message to those who you think can benefit!

Your Brother in Christ,

Stanley